By AJ Steimel
Before I get into details of the experiences we have had during our first week here I want to thank all those for your good luck wishes and comments, especially my parents and grandparents. Thanks Mom, Dad, Grandee and Poppin! Love you guys! Oh! Can't forget my girlfriend, Thanks Jess! J
The anxiousness built up as the plane flew closer and closer to our destination, and for me I still wasn't sure what to expect. Reading The Massacre of El Mozote gave me an insight into some of the injustices that have occurred in the past, but for some reason it still didn't feel real. That quickly changed when our bus arrived at the villages of La Hacienda and El Junquillo. I can't go into complete detail of the past days but I want to quickly tie together two stories that I have experienced during this first week. The title of my second journal entry reads, "All We Need is Love." And as I look back upon that entry the vivid memories of why I titled it this come running back into my mind.
While the people of La Hacienda were introducing themselves, the Scholarship Students that the Brophy Turkey Drive funds stood up and began to tell us their names, ages, and what school they attend. I couldn't help but stare at the shirt Jeiti had on that said, "All You Need is Love."
I thought back to all the faces we had seen and people we had met earlier that day and I reflected on how happy, pleasant and welcoming these people were. I realized these people were not just acting for us, they truly were as extremely happy and loving as they appeared. I contemplated why and how these people were so happy although they had essentially nothing at all. And it soon hit me while I was writing my journal that night, it was simple, their lives were filled with love. They have love for their families, friends, communities, and themselves and it was then when I realized these people are not lacking in anything.
Sure they don't have the materialistic things we make out to be a big deal, but spiritually these people have EVERYTHING! This had a huge impact on me and my view on these people who have now become my new families; I envy them for their loving, caring, hopeful, and persistent characters and only hope I can model my own character like theirs. There will never be a day that passes without me thinking about the people I met and faces I saw and the time I spent with my new families in La Hacienda and El Junquillo.
Unfortunately not all of our experiences have been as uplifting and happy as this story; in fact hours after we left El Junquillo I experienced one of the most heartbreaking realities thus far in my life. As we listened to Rufina Amaya's daughter speak to us about how her mother was able to be the lone survivor of the massacre in El Mozote, everything that I had read all of a sudden became so real. But it wasn't until I walked into the Garden of the Innocents when I truly broke down. The Garden of the Innocents is located on the side of the Church in El Mozote dedicated to all of the innocent children that had been killed that horrible day in December 1981. I simply sat down and stared at the names of the children and couldn't help but cry. I mean, the first name on the list was a girl named "Concepcion" Lopez who was three days old and did not even have a name yet. How could she have possibly been a threat to the Salvadoran Army? She wasn't a Guerilla fighter; she was an innocent helpless baby who was born three days earlier. It simply does not make sense to me how anyone with any sense of human dignity could kill a three day old baby with a Bayonet.
Just one night earlier I had held Geronimo's baby during one of our talks and I was able to experience the beauty of life and the next morning I sat and realized the fragility of life as I stared the names of the innocent young children that were killed maliciously in El Mozote. This had such a profound impact on me I cannot even explain. But I do know that I will never look at life the same way ever again. We were all told to throw ourselves into the experience at the beginning of the week, and that is what we all did when we arrived here in El Salvador, whether we wanted to or not. The experiences that we have been through during the past week have been extremely difficult and very uncomfortable but we have all learned a lot about the people we have been with and also ourselves. As we continue on through this next week I ask everyone to keep us in your prayers, and I continue to ask God to help us keep our eyes, ears, and hearts open to everything we experience. We all miss you very very much! Love you Mom, Dad, Grandee, Poppin, Rest of Family, and Jess!
Hasta pronto!
AJ Steimel
AJ! Its soo good to hear that your having such an amazing timee. Keep getting the absolute most you can out of this once in a life time experience. :) We all miss you and cant wait for you to get back so we can hear all about it.
love you boo
AJ,
You're completely right when you say there will never be a day when you don't think of the people. The best part is that the constant reminder of your experiences will serve as a motivation to model yourself after the people. So those characteristics of theirs that you envy will soon go hand-in-hand with your name. I'm sure of it.
In the word of Grindey, "welcome." I'm so happy to see that you've already gotten enough out of the experience to realize one of the fundamental thruths that this trip teaches - that material means nothing in life compared to the value of true spirituality and love. It took me a little longer to realize that than it did for you, but I remember that realization being one of the most liberating experiences of my life. I can't explain how glad I was to read those words of yours.
Keep up the good work, the experience is far from over.
-Chepe
I am so glad that you were able to go on this trip, and that it is having such a strong impact on you. I'm pretty sure that the group will discuss this question, or you probably already have, but after experiencing these life-chaging encounters it is imperitive to refelect on the thrid question of the examen: How am I called to respond now? The trip is only a waste of time if you do not draw on the experiences and the lessons you learned while there in making decisions for the rest of your life.
I hope you have an awesome rest of the trip AJ!
P.S. Could you buy me a small cross (i.e. something that would fit in a college dorm room) when you go to the market? I'll re-pay you when you get back. Thanks!
AJ,
The way you bounce around your experiences reminds me exactly how I felt writing my blog last year. There is just so much you want to talk about and so many impactful instances. It is good that you are writing them all down, keep your journal up even though you don't have the time to you wont regret it later. Write down every emotion because while these experiences are very important to our lives now you have to be determined never to let them fade because they will be important forever. I am so glad that you shared such vivid experiences it was a joy to read your blog I remember this trip like it was yesterday. You come to find that complex thoughts and disturbing questions yield such simple realizations as love. Our prayers are with you and the rest of the guys AJ you have soaked it all up now is the time to reflect and figure out what is truly important in life as you have already started to.
Lovin the suns out guns out..
Much love,
Trob
Hi AJ,
Thank you for sharing your stories and the stories of the people you have met. Take care of your self and I will see you in a couple of weeks around campus.
Peace,
Mr. Ward
AJ,
It's good to hear from you and the other guys. I hope this trip can affect you like it did last year's group. I'm sure it's amazing being there with the small group of students and opening yourselves up to this new world. Just looking at the list of the guys on the trip is amazing; you couldn't ask for a better group. I just wanted to say hey to everyone down there and hope you all can remain safe and healthy. Don't be afraid to make yourself feel vulnerable, and as Joe Slaven said after last year's trip, "It's not life-changing, it's life-giving." Of course this experience will be in your minds forever, so don't take anything for granted and completely live every second of it. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.
Love and Peace,
Kurt Guenther
Hermanos!!
I imagine you are all deeply immersed about now. I can't tell you how impressed I am with your comments and insight. What a great perspective you are getting: a perspective most people never get... I've always wanted to go on this immersion. The Jesuit martyrs (and housekeeper/daughter) died at the universidad on my birthday. The event and collective Jesuit response made a profound impact upon me. Mr. Broyles said that, if I was good, he may let me go on the trip next year! Your El Junquillo experience has given you a kinship with these people for the rest of your lives. Cherish and hold it always... it's a gift. Your experience gives us all a gift... Stay safe!
AJ,
Remember Father Renna's great quote, "If you leave Brophy comfortable, we haven't done our job."...well my friend, this experience certainly is formative and defining. I am most happy with the openness in your journaling...thank you for being so candid.
Blessings and prayers...you have a lot to do in this wonderful world...go deep....
Adria Renke
Hey bro,
I'm very glad to hear your having a great time and can't wait to hear the stories in person when you get home. It warms my heart to hear you reflect like this and I'm truly proud of you for finding and recognizing these values, as sometimes they easily get forgotten in our busy lives back home.
Get home safe,
Tyler
AJ,
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading every word you have written in your blog. As I sit here in my second to last college class ever, it seems like yesterday when a few of my very close friends took the same courageous adventure that you are embarking on now.
You will be forever impacted by this experience, but what you are going through now is not the only challenge. When you come back, your challenge is to take what you've learned and impact the lives of others in any way that you can, be it great or small. The littlest thing that you do may have the greatest impact on someone's life.
Happy Birthday (in a few days), stay strong, Live the 4th, and I will see you in a few weeks. We're all proud of you!
Be safe,
Bobby
AJ,
how's it going down south amigo? from the looks of your blog, it sounds like this is a pretty formative experience, one which you seem to have made the most of. my prayers with you and the rest of the boys down there, and my hope is that this experience stays with you for the rest of your life. you are a renaissance man!
carpe diem,
tsmith
AJ,
I'm so happy that you are having such an amazing experience in El Salvador.. It's so neat to hear how every single one of you guys are making a difference in the lives of other people. Your presence probably means so much to them. Cherish every single moment and I can't even wait to hear all about it and see your pictures... We all miss you!! Have a safe trip home :)
Love,
Jess
AJ,
I am so happy that you are on the immersion experience in El Salvador because I know your character and how loving and compassionate you are. I will never forget stepping off of the bus onto the courtyard of El Mozote. It was heart breaking to imagine the atrocities that occurred in the courtyard where the soldiers took the men, women, and children and put them face down. I will never forget seeing the place where the mothers and children were taken. I feel a surge of anger and sadness when I think of the Salvadoran Army burning the people in the house near Rufina's hiding place. It is always important to approach an innjust situation not with anger, but with compassion and solidarity, because anger can lead into violence, and violence only leads to more violence. When I was explaining the atrocities that occurred during the Salvadoran Civil War, I could not finish the meal I was eating because I was so upset. I am blessed to have gone on the El Salvador immersion experience because it has helped me to see what is true. AJ, I hope that you use your compassion, your loving character, your leadership, and your toughness, to continue to travel on the unbeaten path of life. I can see something in you that is special and that can help create justice in the world.
With love,
Michael Tree
AJ,
Im glad to hear that you are having a good time. I have been so jealous thinking about you guys there. Everyday I have wished I could join you. But it was good to hear what you said about "all you need is love" The people in those two villages literally have nothing except love. One thing that surprised me was how happy they were even when they had nothing. Like you I definitely got something out of seeing each kid's smiling face even when they have so little. Also, I can relate to you because I too felt a lot of sadness in the Garden of the Innocents. I was shocked to see the immense amount of names of kids mercilessly killed with bayonets and I couldn't help but wonder why anyone could ever think that this is acceptable. I hope you are learning a lot from this trip and enjoying every second of it. Hope you had a great beach day!
Au Jus,
After reading this eye-opening entry, I feel I can relate strongly to your experience. Going into "uncharted" territory such as El Salvador can be strange because you honestly don't know what to expect until you get there. I had this same experience when I traveled south to Nogales last summer for one of the Brophy Immersion Trips. I came out a completely different person after my experience. Keep sharing your experiences and let as many know what you've seen and heard because most people have little to no information on what is going on in these impoverished countries. Just as what you said was so eye-opening to you and seeing this on the young girl's shirt: "All You Need Is Love." If only everyone could incorporate this someway or another into their lives, what a better place we would live in.
Love you brosky,
Squill